“In a bureaucracy no one owns anything.”
Today I am writing from a place of discouragement.
I am discouraged because I realized today that I’ve been working at my current place of employment for more than 3 years now, and in that time, I have created not one single thing that another person is actually using. And that’s not likely to change in the foreseeable future. But that that’s my motivation, that’s what it’s all about for me: creating awesome stuff for other people to use.
Money is important, but it isn’t motivation. Writing reports and making PowerPoint slides may be “important” for one hour, but then they are forgotten; that’s not motivation either. Even simply having great coworkers isn’t enough. The reason why I do what I do is because I love creating awesome stuff for other people to use.
Let’s repeat that again, for emphasis. The reason why I do what I do is because I love creating awesome stuff for other people to use.
But my intention with this post is not to whine, but to consider.
Is it possible to be in a bureaucracy but not of it? Is it possible to be part of an organization that is slow and inflexible, yet not become deadened by it? Is it possible to retain your motivation, your hunger, your desire to be the best that you can possibly be — your desire to create — after years of watching everything you do, every piece of work that you’ve poured all of your brain and heart and energy into, vanish into the ether and disappear?
In a bureaucracy no one owns anything; everything belongs to everyone, or to no one. Is it possible, then, to still own the things that are in front of you, to take pride in the work of your own hands — and then to let go of it once it leaves your grasp, and turns into something unrecognizable?
Is is possible to remain detached enough to avoid falling into frustration and discouragement, yet engaged enough to continue to strive for excellence in everything that you do?
I sure hope so. It might require the stubbornness of a mule and the enlightenment of a Buddhist monk, but I really hope that it is possible. Because there are a whole lot of bureaucracies in this world, and a whole lot of broken systems to deal with.
If the only two choices are to give up or to leave, there’s no hope of changing any of that for the better.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
You were born to create great things, follow your heart. You’re much too talented to even need to ponder these things. Fly like the wind and soar.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
That’s very flattering. Thank you.
For the moment, I’m choosing to be stubborn.
October 8th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
At the end of the day, you have to answer to yourself. So you do your best every day and when the frustration outweighs the challenges, perks, great co-workers, etc., you can move on with a clear conscience and the knowledge you’ve gained.